Anxiety can be brought on by several different reasons. One
of the primary reasons is the habit of wanting approval and validation from everyone around us. We all know that this is an impossible task, so when someone does give us a disapproving look, we fall to pieces.
If we spend most of our days trying to please people, we usually end up exhausted and frustrated.
People-pleasing comes from the fear of rejection and the fear of failure. We feel if we don’t agree or say yes, they won’t want to be with us, or worse still, they might leave, and we will never see them again. Sounds dramatic; however, it’s a genuine fear for many, primarily if stemmed from a relationship where the love shown was conditional.
Children brought up with critical parents tend to suffer anxiety, as they are shown love on the condition that they meet their parents’ standards. If, for example, a child did not achieve
a particular mark in an exam, the parent could withdraw emotional and nurturing support. Unfortunately, a core belief would be formed, implying you are only loved as long as
you make people happy. This false belief would also extend to adulthood and contribute to years of anxiety in trying to accommodate other people’s approval. This lack of self-worth becomes an integral part of their personality.
IF YOU WANT TO STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASE – READ TRAVEL LIGHT A HANDBOOK FOR MENTAL HEALTH.