WHY DO I KEEP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER?’
Anxiety can be brought on by several different reasons. One of the primary reasons is the habit of wanting approval and validation from everyone around us. Find out how to stop being a People Pleaser in my new book https://amazon.co.uk/TRAVEL-LIGHT-HANDBOOK-MENTAL-HEALTH/dp/1916267300/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3RJWUF4KS1ZC7&keywords=travel+light+a+handbook+for+mental+health&qid=1578260620&sprefix=travel+light+a+handbook+%2Caps%2C145&sr=8-1
Anxiety can be brought on by several different reasons. One
of the primary reasons is the habit of wanting approval and validation from everyone around us. We all know that this is an impossible task, so when someone does give us a disapproving look, we fall to pieces.
If we spend most of our days trying to please people, we usually end up exhausted and frustrated.
People-pleasing comes from the fear of rejection and the fear of failure. We feel if we don’t agree or say yes, they won’t want to be with us, or worse still, they might leave, and we will never see them again. Sounds dramatic; however, it’s a genuine fear for many, primarily if stemmed from a relationship where the love shown was conditional.
Children brought up with critical parents tend to suffer anxiety, as they are shown love on the condition that they meet their parents’ standards. If, for example, a child did not achieve
a particular mark in an exam, the parent could withdraw emotional and nurturing support. Unfortunately, a core belief would be formed, implying you are only loved as long as
you make people happy. This false belief would also extend to adulthood and contribute to years of anxiety in trying to accommodate other people’s approval. This lack of self-worth becomes an integral part of their personality.
IF YOU WANT TO STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASE – READ TRAVEL LIGHT A HANDBOOK FOR MENTAL HEALTH.
Like all other negative emotions, holding on to fear can have an adverse outcome for your mental health. Fear and anxiety affect different areas of your life; it starts to control what you do and what you don’t do.
The fight or flight response is triggered when perceived danger happens. Floods of adrenaline and cortisol get released into the body. Fortunately, when this happens, it can help a person escape an oncoming threat. However, if the danger is not real, and
only in mind, it can be the stimulus for anxiety and depression. Regrettably, by listening to this fear-based voice in your head, it will stop you from succeeding and achieving new goals.
By letting go of fears, a person will start to do new things. They will become more excited and passionate about their life. If a person moves out of their comfort zone, they will begin to grow and flourish as a person. They will not fear failure.
Other fears are the fear of losing control, the fear of getting hurt, or even the fear of change. When fear grips a person, they don’t function properly. They find rational thinking hard. The mind is like a survival mechanism, which has a goal of keeping you alive. Its primary job is protection. Unfortunately, because it’s so diligent, the mind thinks that the only way to protect you is to control everything in your life. The downside of this is that it can be restricting and limiting, as fear keeps you from growth and expansion.
Fear also affects relationships, whether it be your partner or a work colleague. Most people who live a fear-based life are not aware they are acting up. However, the fear of failure tends to operate in the unconscious mind. You are not aware of how it holds you back from having a successful life. It isn’t so much the fear of failure that does the damage but the fear of being shamed.
LINDA COWAN – TRAVEL LIGHT A HANDBOOK FOR MENTAL HEALTH
WHY DO I FEEL WORTHLESS
Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, ‘I look a mess, who on earth would ever love me.’ Believe it or not, this is a common phrase that a lot of people would say to themselves. They feel they are worthless and put little value on who they are. Of course, there are times when we all dislike who we are; however, if we loathe our actions and thoughts continually, it can be a sure sign of low self-esteem issues. Our worst critic
is ourselves. This internal critic repeatedly tells us that we are stupid and unlovable. Unfortunately, this voice is so convincing; we come to believe that what it says is true. We are so familiar with this voice as it’s been a companion of ours for years. Unfortunately, this companion is not a true friend.
To silence this internal critic, we have to consciously challenge the negative voice in our head by replacing the lie with an alternative statement. It’s not easy, but with practice and determination, the old critic voice will soon start to disappear. Try and be your own best friend. Remember, if you wouldn’t say these harsh things to your best friend, why on earth would you say it to yourself.
Hi everyone, Coming soon, the launch of my new book:
Travel Light – a handbook for mental health.
If you or a family member are suffering from anxiety or mental health issues this is the book for you.
It will help you identify harmful addictive behaviours that you have unwittingly adopted over the years.
It will explain the origin of these behaviours and what the impact they have on your life.